merry christmas!/i’m an idiot

On the advice of my good friend and talented creative Anne, I’m going to start my post with; I am retarded.
This is my candid admission of how I feel in regards to this blog and my chronic inability to maintain it – but SO WHAT. I’m gonna continue to give it (in the words of another friend…) ‘a red hot go’ anyway!
Well Merry Christmas everyone! I woke up with a heinous sore throat and the sound of Jesse trying to hack up spit balls nearby, which is not the same as getting presents and hearing sleigh bells on Christmas morning, but I’m in the Christmas mood anyhow.
Christmas is a quieter affair here – we had a Christmas eve dinner with Jesse’s aunt, uncle and cousin last night and despite it being my first Christmas in the northern hemisphere there was no snow to wake up to this morning. Goddamn west coast!
I did make some delicious fruit mince pies, all from scratch in the tradition of my nan, however I barely made 1 dozen and not the 5, 10, 25 dozen she would usually brag about it.

But it’s Christmas day and we are just sitting on the couch, trying to muster the will to eat/interact/sit upright as our various medications kick in, but it’s nice to be able to relax.

I’m only too aware now, that the days like this are numbered , and soon we’ll be flying off to Nepal, to a different world, practically. And a part of me is getting itchy feet, keen to leave this good ol’ american dream where my life is an endless daily routine punctuated by the intermittent candy or washing powder advertisement. I mean being here with Jesse’s family is amazing, although it is too easy. But a part of me is also feeling overwhelmed and terrified thinking about 80L travel backpacks, hiking boots and UV water sterilising pens. Having already been punctured with 5 vaccinations in one day, and ordering 500 anti-malarial tablets, I’ve taken the first step, but there’s still so far to go.
I wish everything was already taken care of, in some ways I wish I had the non-stop energy to deal with it all at once and somehow feel guilty that I don’t. But I have a feeling that one way or another we will make it.